America, the land of FREEdom!

“What will make you stay in the United Stated after your graduation?” asked Chris whom I met at the Halloween party hosted by Gil on Oct 31, 2008. “Job,” I answered straight away without any hesitation. “What else?” Chris continued. That follow up question stuck my thought and has stayed in my head since then. It was hard for me to think of any other reasons that can convince me to stay in the U.S. Chris was puzzled and asked “What if you meet some one who you will be spending your life with here in the U.S.?” That is uncertain and seems unpredictable though it can be one of the convincing reasons that make me decide to stay. Just now that I have found the real answer to the question; it’s “FREEDOM”. I have just realized that America is where I can experience and enjoy my freedom, though I have not used it at fullest yet.

Cambodia, my home country is totally different from America in term of freedom. There, I do not dare to express my personal feeling or my own view especially if it is controversial to the social norm. Cambodia has a very strict tradition for girls so called “Chbab Srey” which means “Women Code of Conduct”. Chbab Srey describes very detail guidance ranging from what women should wear to how women should behave in society; for instant women should not speak loudly, women should walk quietly, etc.

In Cambodia from my generation backward, parents are very strict with their daughters. They over control their daughter’s live like what clothes their daughters should wear, how their daughters should behave, what kind of friends they make and particularly the type of person their daughters get married to. In my country, I never dare to wear short skirt above my knee or to wear a shirt that shows my shoulder because it considered very sexy and not good in the eyes of the society. Interestingly, the daughter is not allowed to have any boy friend or she is regarded as a not so good woman. At school, students dare not to argue with their teacher even though when they know that the teacher make mistake as it is considered impolite and embarrassed the teachers. I remembered one time when I argued with a Math teacher on an exam that he gave me wrong evaluation on my correct answer. I was almost expelled from that class. Looking back while I was at school, I was never allowed to hang out with friends especially male friends after school. Every time, I came home late from school, I have to find a good reason to explain to my grand mom who was always there waiting for me at the door step. I rarely had a chance to go to any party with friends though we did not have many. I remembered that there was one time that my parents allowed me to go to a party with friends at high school; it was because they knew people who also joined the party with and that party was organized by a teacher whom my uncle knew very well. Honestly, I sometimes did not let my parents knew that I went out with friends since I knew I would not be granted any permission from them. Sometimes, I found it more effective if I have my close friends asked permission from my parents rather than myself asked for it. My parents know all my best friends and their parents.

In contradiction to my life in Cambodia, I am having a so called “true freedom of life” in the United States. I could not believe that I could have this type of freedom which I should have had back at home. It is my freedom and it belongs to me. It should be granted to me since my birth, the freedom of speech, the freedom of behaving, the freedom of choosing my own destiny and my life time hero. I would claim that I do truly can enjoy my full freedom here in the U.S. I can wear whatever I like, I can behave the way I want to and hang out with any one I prefer without being fear how others think of me as long as it does not hurt other people. Importantly, I do not have to ask for any permission to do all of those any longer. Where else I can ask for more?

Never the less, I still give credit to the strict tradition of my society especially my family who took very great care of me and taught me to become an organized mature person as I am today.

Time is flying or not moving?

Have you ever had a feeling that weekend is slow to come but fast to go? It’s obvious that there are 5 days of weekday before weekends which consist only two days. As I’ve been waiting and counting from Monday, Tuesday,…, Friday; then Saturday and Sunday, I feel that weekend is fast to go. Oop tomorrow is Monday again. Wait,wait, time please wait for me and stop moving for a while, can you? No, time is not listening to my insistence, time might not hear me, or it ignores me:( I dont have the answer to this but what I know is that “time never stop and never return” thus I have to ensure that I do my best today and make it better than yesterday!

Yet, I sometimes feel that time does not move when I am in grief or failure. I want time to move faster as fast as it could when I just want to get out of the difficult situation. But it seems not listen to me again. It made me frustrating and wished there was a time machine that I can adjust the speed to time movement.

Farewell Parties;)

In complement to my regular job at BL that keep me busy during weekdays Party has kept me busy during weekends. Since mid June, besides working, I’ve got to reserve my self for partying with friends of different groups. At least each weekend, I’ve got two parties. Last weekend, I had two instead of three since the two small group on Sunday were merged.

Saturday 28 June was a farewell party with AIT alumni. About 24 came…;)We had BBQ at Loasis restaurant which situated near Phsar Kabko. We had fun with chatting, eating and a little bit of dancing until 9pm. After, we left Loasis, a small special group of 9 including Raksmey, Soklang, Bunrith, Leang Y, Ratana (Yang Kdan), B. Polen, B. Kakada, Pu Pal and me went to Chenda’s house to have a special overnight party and in order to recall the activity that we usually did while we were at AIT. It was so special, still can feel the joy! As we already ate at Loasis, we didnt need more food except more drinks. It’s alcohol drink that we need. B. Polen was so good at wine mixing. He added lemon and salt to soda & Jin which tasted so good. I cannot recognize I was drinking alcohol. We drank until mid night that we decided we would go to night club to dance as the dance we had at Loasis was not sufficient. We went to Spark Red. When we arrived there with a 15-seat van driven by B. Polen ait alumni president; it was nearly 1am so we had only one hour to dance before it close which could not make us sweat. After leaving Spark, B.Polen drove us around PP city along river side and return to Chenda’s. When we came back to Chenda house, we served our self with Borbor Krueng. The last thing we enjoyed was with our traditional game…playing cards:))) Only six of us play the game since some went to sleep and some had to complete a report to submit early in the morning. Though we were sleepy, we could stand by playing the game until 4am…

Sunday 29th I had a farewell dinner with friends from RUPP and friends from my high school (in BB town) at Tom Yam Kung restaurant at the west of silver pagoda. It was just a two-hour meeting since every one seem busy, some was hurry to go back to watch film…:)

“It was a very tired but happy weekend”, I would say.

Mistake a twin brother!

This morning at around 7:30 am, before coming to the office, I went to have breakfast at Mlub Mean near MoE. Just as I entered the restaurant, I saw a person who I knew in Thailand while I was studying at AIT. I was a bit surprise to see him there since I usually there for breakfast but never saw him before. I greeted him and asked him questions as people who never met for long. Then he asked me where we met and he told me he could not remember where and when we met. I stayed still for a while and recalled my memory. I told and explained him that we met at AIT, I am a friend of his friend named Sophal. I further explained that he was studying at Nyda that time and he often visited Phal at AIT. I thought my explanation was clear enough to recall his memory but he still could not recognized me. So what was the problem? Actually, I mistake him with his older twin brother! Oh, what a shame! They take each other’s apparent. When I realized that he’s the twin brother of the one I know, I looked at his face several times to reassure my eyes but still my eyes cannot tell the different between the two. My friend, Phal used to tell me once that his twin friend used to be mistaken by many. Haha, so m not the only one!

Appear on News!

This morning I was so surprise that three people who know me but never in contact for a long time called me and congratulate me for winning the Fulbright as they were informed by the newspaper as Cambodia Daily, Koh Santepheap..

I will become famous…lolz…:)

http://www.rupp.edu.kh/newsletter_inc/2008/RUPP%20newsletter_June_01_03.pdf

To Leave home, friends,…very soon!

It has always been my top academic goal that I have to win Fulbright scholarship to pursue my PhD in the U.S. It was confirmed that I have reach this goal which should make me delighted instead of being sad. I feel very sad knowing that I have to leave for the US next month. I feel I dont want to leave my family and best friends at this soonest. Dearests, I will miss you all very much indeed.

Unproductive Day!

Since coming back from Thailand, I seem dont have feeling at work. I have not produced any remarkable input to my work since then.